Here I Go Again

Hello old friends,

Does any one even read this? No matter, I enjoy looking back on this very public journal and seeing how much the kids have grown, and how much I've learned after each gardening season. Well this year, 2012, marks the beginning of Garden #5 for me. Our garden looks very different than when we first moved in!

The biggest change will be the young ones running around it, through it, picking and eating from it; my boys. I now have THREE! They are so big, and littlest son is about to turn 2. Wasn't it just yesterday I was announcing that I was pregnant with him? But time marches on.

Another change is that the strawberry bed did not do well for me last summer. WAH! I love strawberries and so do the kids! I'm not quite sure what went wrong, but I think a late frost had something to do with how poorly the berries were. We also did a square foot garden combined with a regular row garden and truth be told, I liked having both styles there! There were pros and cons to each. Additionally, I hope to not only have a functional garden, but a beautiful one as well. Will I be able to make it pretty? I hope so!

This year will also be the year of the trellis. I am hopeful to have a trellis built for the many pumpkins, cucumbers, squash and beans that we'll plant. We've even got a gourd that looks like a snake as it grows! Cool huh? The kids and I bought seeds a few weeks ago and this week we'll start them to get the plants growing. I'm also planning on a heritage garden, where I will plant vegetables that represent my husband's German background as well as my Puerto Rican ancestry. So hopefully the plants I grow for this purpose will suit me well for various ethnic dishes that our German-Rican household can enjoy.

I'll get pictures up soon and will hopefully keep regular updates on this years bounty. Meanwhile, here are how my kiddie sprouts are growing.

Storms

We've been having rain. Lots of rain, lots of thunder and lightening. I love thunder storms, they make me feel cozy. I get a few flashbacks to hurricanes when the wind picks up though. Thunder plus wind equals a bit scary for me.

I'm living a lot of windy thunderstorms lately. People I love have lost their way. May God protect them. May God protect and strengthen those that are suffering. May God protect me so that I don't get caught up in their hurricanes. I don't really have anything else to say.

Growing Like A Weed

Wow. It's been a really, really long time since I've posted anything. A lot has happened since our garden of two years ago. In July of 2009 I became pregnant with our third baby and on March 2, 2010 we welcomed our newest son, Desmond Mark to the world. He is amazing. He is calm and patient, he coos and smiles. He cuddles into me like a little frog on a tree. I am admittedly in love again. Our boys are so wonderful. And I don't exaggerate at all when I say how much the older brothers love their baby!

I love having a Spring baby. The warm days are here (mostly) and I find myself optimistic and cheerful most days. The boys can actually play outside while I nurse Des and they keep very busy with the bugs and weeds. I've done a lot of daydreaming of gardening. Our plan for gardening this year is to create a square foot garden. Though I love to make a huge garden, it tends to get away from me in the summer and becomes covered with weeds. Everything needs to be harvested at the same time (how many zucchinis can one eat?) and frankly, I just don't have the time to harvest, can, or freeze. So I looked into Mel Bartholomew's method of Square Foot Gardening and I think this will work out wonderfully. I have purchased a few new herbs: stevia sugar bush, chocolate mint, lavender, and rosemary. I also bought a beautiful Russian sage perennial. We also purchased about 36 strawberry plants and rebuilt our strawberry bed. I know I tend to get a little carried away!

I was sharing with a dear friend Desmond's 2 month old stats. He's a big guy! I wanted my last baby to be little for longer but alas he just got so big so fast! (Truthfully he started out big at 8 pounds 15 ounces birth weight!) So for his two month visit he weighed 14 pounds, 7 ounces and is 24.61 inches long! My friend replied with "He's growing like a weed!" I understand this expression and it makes sense in a way. But on the other hand...a weed doesn't need much to grow. It doesn't need to be cared for, fed or nurtured. Most weeds can grow under rocks, between sidewalks, and can survive on very little water. Des on the other hand, is totally dependent on me. I nurse him, I cuddle, we coo, I change his diapers, I hold him, I rock him and massage his perfectly soft skin. I curse at how quickly time is going by for me and my last little baby. I marvel at how long and thin my Manny has become and how studious he is. He's always reading, drawing, or teaching from his books to his baby brothers. I am floored at how tall Adrian is and how much he's talking, how he can put together puzzles and fit a very thin stick into a tiny hole to put up a toy flag. I love how empathetic both boys are towards me when I'm having a tough day. I love how the smile on my baby's face can make my heart full with affection and love and peace. So even though they "grow like weeds", there's more to it than that. Mama and Daddy put a lot of effort into their care...and proudly...it shows.

Doubts and Certainty

It's been a long, long while hasn't it? Truth be told, I've been quite overwhelmed and distracted and every time I thought about blogging I just didn't have the energy. The plants are in the ground! They are small, and though they are growing slowly, I find myself being impatient with them. I'm astounded at how much I don't know. I really have no idea what I'm doing. I read about gardening, I weed, I water sometimes. But I have many questions and I second-guess myself...especially when I see that my neighbor's spinach is all ready for picking while mine is just getting started, or that my tomato plants still look quite small compared to a friend's. And so I begin to wonder: Am I an inadequate gardener?

I guess, by just a simple stretch of the imagination that the same thing happens with parenting. Sometimes it's hard to accept my way of parenting without second-guessing myself or my children. It can be difficult not to compare their skills and personalities to other kids. Especially if the other kids are doing more, saying more, exploring more, even growing more. In our society we are driven to be independent, be the best, be all that you can be, be more than, and keep up with the Jones's. How can we relax? All of this leads us to ask, "Am I an inadequate parent?"

But I keep myself in check with this...grace. I remind myself that it is better to give more happiness and encouragement to that other parent and their kids instead of jumping on the comparison train. I sincerely feel good for them, and proud of them for what they're able to do, while still being proud of my kids even if they are not able to do what the other kid can do.

I'll admit that in the past, as a new mom, this was not easy for me. I honestly feel that I've evolved into a different mom, a more accepting mom and friend. I've realized that in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter how they measure up compared to somebody else. What is important is that I treat my children lovingly and respectfully so that they learn to do the same to each other and to others. Are we always successful at being nice and sharing and taking turns and not yelling and asking please and saying thank you? No, of course not. But the foundation for them to be good men is there. I can see it. I can feel it. Though it fills my heart with joy at the same time that it is bittersweet to watch them grow older, I look forward to who they will become.

So perhaps I should take a parenting lesson into gardening this time. I guess I should take a chill pill and stop comparing my garden to other gardens. My little plants are just fine. Sure, they're not as tall as the neighbor's, and they may not be flowering yet; but I enjoy them anyway. I may not have done things perfectly but I've cared for them and I am excited about the process and I look forward to what they will become.

Update: 6/21/09: Here are some pictures of some of the garden. You may wonder what's that orange stuff on Manny's face? It's pollen from the first lily to bloom. He tried to smell it, and wow, I didn't realize pollen actually stains! He looked like he had warrior paint on his face. We've had some big storms the last couple of days and the garden has grown since these pictures! The carrots are coming up, the corn is up to my knees and the broccoli up to my thighs. Spinach and Lettuce are ready for picking and the snow peas have flowered. The tomatoes and peppers took a big jump in growth. It's all very exciting!

An Exercise in Patience

My favorite definition of patience is "to wait with kindness." Patience is a trait that I have been consciously working on for many years now. I was not born a laid-back being. I'm a little bit high-strung, quick to be nervous, and quick to feel overwhelmed. The positive spin to my personality is that I'm a go-getter, I am very thorough, and headstrong. But the phrases, "Let it be," "Whatever," and "Que sera, sera" do not come naturally to me! And now we are experiencing the schizophrenic weather of spring in Wisconsin. What a tease! Some days are warm, some are cold, some are sunny, some have snow...sheesh. It's enough to send a gardener into a padded room with a cozy jacket (Hey, where are my arms?) And so for the first time, in order to get my hands a little dirty I have decided to foray into starting my plants from seed. Excitedly I bought the seeds. On a warmer, sunny day a couple of weeks back I broke out the stuff and planted a few of them. Here's what I've planted so far:

• Sungold Cherry Tomato
• Sweet 100 Cherry Tomato
• Parlsey
• Crimson Red Pepper
• Orange Bell Pepper
• Yellow Bell Pepper
• Calendula Flower
• Habanero Pepper

And so far...it's been EXCRUTIATING!! I checked every day for something, anything. Then last week the first tomato plants emerged, and yesterday the parsley popped a little green sprout. But no sign from the other seeds. And so I'm back to waiting. I'm back to practicing patience. How wonderful then, to look at my kids and see how far I've really come in regards to practicing patience. They test me every day. From the milk that spills on my newly-mopped floor, the butt that needs a new diaper right before we're headed out the door, the whining that occurs when they just don't realize how tired they are, the thousandth time that I've watched The Land Before Time, to the millionth time that I've heard, "Mom do you want to hear a story?" and the 30 minute-intensely-detailed masterpiece that follows and requires my whole attention. Oh how they test me! Sometimes I just want Manny to rush through that story, I want Adrian to just hold out for 2 more minutes before I can cuddle him, I want to not trip over the same toy over and over again that seems to be purposefully placed before me no matter how many times I put it away. I want 5 minutes to go by where I can get lost in my thoughts and not be interrupted with "MAMA!!!!" All of these events try my patience. But lo and behold the reward. The patience that I practice with them translates to two caring boys. Most days when Adrian cries, Manny will come over and sweetly say, "Hey little guy. You're alright." while he gently strokes Adrian's face and gives him a hug. This evening at dinner Manny threw a tantrum because we didn't pour his water first. (He was very tired) What do I see? Adrian patiently walks over to Manny and rubs his arm and then hugs him! The little brother comforting his older brother that is hurting, just as Manny always comforts him. Such joy lives in my heart! Speaking of the boys, since I don't have any real interesting pictures to post yet of my little plants, I thought I'd post some recent videos of my boys for your enjoyment! But back to gardening. These spring days are hard when you look out the window and see snow. And it's frustrating to hear the weatherman predict cooler weather. And it's difficult to stare at empty pots day after day. But I have faith that these little seeds that I've planted will soon grow tall and bountiful and bring me such delight...if I'm patient.

Time

Time is wasting,

Time is walking

You ain’t no friend of mine

I don’t know where I’m goin’

I think I'm out of my mind,
Thinking about Time...-Hootie and the Blowfish

This song has been running over and over in my head for about a month now. Why? Because it perfectly describes my late summer. Where the heck did my time go? Where did summer go? It seems that I blinked and all of the sudden we're in Fall. We're in mid-September! WHAT?!! Manny needs yet another haircut, Adrian will be ONE at the end of this month. My baby!! I can't seem to keep up with time.

How's the garden growing? I'm glad you asked. Well, this is how I'll describe my garden. It's not very attractive at the moment, but it's functional. We had plenty of cucumbers, green beans, hot peppers, tomatoes, and now the pumpkin is thriving. It seems that right before labor day the garden got away from me and I was unable to really tend to it. The weeds came back a-plenty and I could've watered the plants a bit more, given them a bit more food, mulched a little more, pinched a little more...you get the idea. Plants that did really well: Cucumbers, Sweet Peas, Green Beans, Cherry Tomatoes, Roma Tomatoes, Cayenne Peppers, Banana Peppers, Strawberries, Rhubarb, Mint, Cuban Oregano, Thyme. Plants that did Ok: Brandywine Tomatoes, Chives, Lavendar, Raspberries and Pumpkin (doing much better now!) Plants that did not fare well: Watermelon, Sweet Bell Peppers.

Speaking of time going by, I just can't get over how busy we got with the boys this mid-summer. I love it, though! I actually had a quasi-panick attack thinking of how trapped we'll be in the winter, and how much of a hassle it is to get dressed just to go outside for 10 minutes before you freeze your tushie off. Ah well. No sense getting worked up over it now. ;-)

This time instead of posting pictures of my garden, here are a couple of pictures of a small sample of our harvest, and a cake I made with ingredients from my herb garden. I wish I could've shared these with you.

My silly 4 year old