Here I Go Again

Hello old friends,

Does any one even read this? No matter, I enjoy looking back on this very public journal and seeing how much the kids have grown, and how much I've learned after each gardening season. Well this year, 2012, marks the beginning of Garden #5 for me. Our garden looks very different than when we first moved in!

The biggest change will be the young ones running around it, through it, picking and eating from it; my boys. I now have THREE! They are so big, and littlest son is about to turn 2. Wasn't it just yesterday I was announcing that I was pregnant with him? But time marches on.

Another change is that the strawberry bed did not do well for me last summer. WAH! I love strawberries and so do the kids! I'm not quite sure what went wrong, but I think a late frost had something to do with how poorly the berries were. We also did a square foot garden combined with a regular row garden and truth be told, I liked having both styles there! There were pros and cons to each. Additionally, I hope to not only have a functional garden, but a beautiful one as well. Will I be able to make it pretty? I hope so!

This year will also be the year of the trellis. I am hopeful to have a trellis built for the many pumpkins, cucumbers, squash and beans that we'll plant. We've even got a gourd that looks like a snake as it grows! Cool huh? The kids and I bought seeds a few weeks ago and this week we'll start them to get the plants growing. I'm also planning on a heritage garden, where I will plant vegetables that represent my husband's German background as well as my Puerto Rican ancestry. So hopefully the plants I grow for this purpose will suit me well for various ethnic dishes that our German-Rican household can enjoy.

I'll get pictures up soon and will hopefully keep regular updates on this years bounty. Meanwhile, here are how my kiddie sprouts are growing.

Storms

We've been having rain. Lots of rain, lots of thunder and lightening. I love thunder storms, they make me feel cozy. I get a few flashbacks to hurricanes when the wind picks up though. Thunder plus wind equals a bit scary for me.

I'm living a lot of windy thunderstorms lately. People I love have lost their way. May God protect them. May God protect and strengthen those that are suffering. May God protect me so that I don't get caught up in their hurricanes. I don't really have anything else to say.

Growing Like A Weed

Wow. It's been a really, really long time since I've posted anything. A lot has happened since our garden of two years ago. In July of 2009 I became pregnant with our third baby and on March 2, 2010 we welcomed our newest son, Desmond Mark to the world. He is amazing. He is calm and patient, he coos and smiles. He cuddles into me like a little frog on a tree. I am admittedly in love again. Our boys are so wonderful. And I don't exaggerate at all when I say how much the older brothers love their baby!

I love having a Spring baby. The warm days are here (mostly) and I find myself optimistic and cheerful most days. The boys can actually play outside while I nurse Des and they keep very busy with the bugs and weeds. I've done a lot of daydreaming of gardening. Our plan for gardening this year is to create a square foot garden. Though I love to make a huge garden, it tends to get away from me in the summer and becomes covered with weeds. Everything needs to be harvested at the same time (how many zucchinis can one eat?) and frankly, I just don't have the time to harvest, can, or freeze. So I looked into Mel Bartholomew's method of Square Foot Gardening and I think this will work out wonderfully. I have purchased a few new herbs: stevia sugar bush, chocolate mint, lavender, and rosemary. I also bought a beautiful Russian sage perennial. We also purchased about 36 strawberry plants and rebuilt our strawberry bed. I know I tend to get a little carried away!

I was sharing with a dear friend Desmond's 2 month old stats. He's a big guy! I wanted my last baby to be little for longer but alas he just got so big so fast! (Truthfully he started out big at 8 pounds 15 ounces birth weight!) So for his two month visit he weighed 14 pounds, 7 ounces and is 24.61 inches long! My friend replied with "He's growing like a weed!" I understand this expression and it makes sense in a way. But on the other hand...a weed doesn't need much to grow. It doesn't need to be cared for, fed or nurtured. Most weeds can grow under rocks, between sidewalks, and can survive on very little water. Des on the other hand, is totally dependent on me. I nurse him, I cuddle, we coo, I change his diapers, I hold him, I rock him and massage his perfectly soft skin. I curse at how quickly time is going by for me and my last little baby. I marvel at how long and thin my Manny has become and how studious he is. He's always reading, drawing, or teaching from his books to his baby brothers. I am floored at how tall Adrian is and how much he's talking, how he can put together puzzles and fit a very thin stick into a tiny hole to put up a toy flag. I love how empathetic both boys are towards me when I'm having a tough day. I love how the smile on my baby's face can make my heart full with affection and love and peace. So even though they "grow like weeds", there's more to it than that. Mama and Daddy put a lot of effort into their care...and proudly...it shows.

Doubts and Certainty

It's been a long, long while hasn't it? Truth be told, I've been quite overwhelmed and distracted and every time I thought about blogging I just didn't have the energy. The plants are in the ground! They are small, and though they are growing slowly, I find myself being impatient with them. I'm astounded at how much I don't know. I really have no idea what I'm doing. I read about gardening, I weed, I water sometimes. But I have many questions and I second-guess myself...especially when I see that my neighbor's spinach is all ready for picking while mine is just getting started, or that my tomato plants still look quite small compared to a friend's. And so I begin to wonder: Am I an inadequate gardener?

I guess, by just a simple stretch of the imagination that the same thing happens with parenting. Sometimes it's hard to accept my way of parenting without second-guessing myself or my children. It can be difficult not to compare their skills and personalities to other kids. Especially if the other kids are doing more, saying more, exploring more, even growing more. In our society we are driven to be independent, be the best, be all that you can be, be more than, and keep up with the Jones's. How can we relax? All of this leads us to ask, "Am I an inadequate parent?"

But I keep myself in check with this...grace. I remind myself that it is better to give more happiness and encouragement to that other parent and their kids instead of jumping on the comparison train. I sincerely feel good for them, and proud of them for what they're able to do, while still being proud of my kids even if they are not able to do what the other kid can do.

I'll admit that in the past, as a new mom, this was not easy for me. I honestly feel that I've evolved into a different mom, a more accepting mom and friend. I've realized that in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter how they measure up compared to somebody else. What is important is that I treat my children lovingly and respectfully so that they learn to do the same to each other and to others. Are we always successful at being nice and sharing and taking turns and not yelling and asking please and saying thank you? No, of course not. But the foundation for them to be good men is there. I can see it. I can feel it. Though it fills my heart with joy at the same time that it is bittersweet to watch them grow older, I look forward to who they will become.

So perhaps I should take a parenting lesson into gardening this time. I guess I should take a chill pill and stop comparing my garden to other gardens. My little plants are just fine. Sure, they're not as tall as the neighbor's, and they may not be flowering yet; but I enjoy them anyway. I may not have done things perfectly but I've cared for them and I am excited about the process and I look forward to what they will become.

Update: 6/21/09: Here are some pictures of some of the garden. You may wonder what's that orange stuff on Manny's face? It's pollen from the first lily to bloom. He tried to smell it, and wow, I didn't realize pollen actually stains! He looked like he had warrior paint on his face. We've had some big storms the last couple of days and the garden has grown since these pictures! The carrots are coming up, the corn is up to my knees and the broccoli up to my thighs. Spinach and Lettuce are ready for picking and the snow peas have flowered. The tomatoes and peppers took a big jump in growth. It's all very exciting!

An Exercise in Patience

My favorite definition of patience is "to wait with kindness." Patience is a trait that I have been consciously working on for many years now. I was not born a laid-back being. I'm a little bit high-strung, quick to be nervous, and quick to feel overwhelmed. The positive spin to my personality is that I'm a go-getter, I am very thorough, and headstrong. But the phrases, "Let it be," "Whatever," and "Que sera, sera" do not come naturally to me! And now we are experiencing the schizophrenic weather of spring in Wisconsin. What a tease! Some days are warm, some are cold, some are sunny, some have snow...sheesh. It's enough to send a gardener into a padded room with a cozy jacket (Hey, where are my arms?) And so for the first time, in order to get my hands a little dirty I have decided to foray into starting my plants from seed. Excitedly I bought the seeds. On a warmer, sunny day a couple of weeks back I broke out the stuff and planted a few of them. Here's what I've planted so far:

• Sungold Cherry Tomato
• Sweet 100 Cherry Tomato
• Parlsey
• Crimson Red Pepper
• Orange Bell Pepper
• Yellow Bell Pepper
• Calendula Flower
• Habanero Pepper

And so far...it's been EXCRUTIATING!! I checked every day for something, anything. Then last week the first tomato plants emerged, and yesterday the parsley popped a little green sprout. But no sign from the other seeds. And so I'm back to waiting. I'm back to practicing patience. How wonderful then, to look at my kids and see how far I've really come in regards to practicing patience. They test me every day. From the milk that spills on my newly-mopped floor, the butt that needs a new diaper right before we're headed out the door, the whining that occurs when they just don't realize how tired they are, the thousandth time that I've watched The Land Before Time, to the millionth time that I've heard, "Mom do you want to hear a story?" and the 30 minute-intensely-detailed masterpiece that follows and requires my whole attention. Oh how they test me! Sometimes I just want Manny to rush through that story, I want Adrian to just hold out for 2 more minutes before I can cuddle him, I want to not trip over the same toy over and over again that seems to be purposefully placed before me no matter how many times I put it away. I want 5 minutes to go by where I can get lost in my thoughts and not be interrupted with "MAMA!!!!" All of these events try my patience. But lo and behold the reward. The patience that I practice with them translates to two caring boys. Most days when Adrian cries, Manny will come over and sweetly say, "Hey little guy. You're alright." while he gently strokes Adrian's face and gives him a hug. This evening at dinner Manny threw a tantrum because we didn't pour his water first. (He was very tired) What do I see? Adrian patiently walks over to Manny and rubs his arm and then hugs him! The little brother comforting his older brother that is hurting, just as Manny always comforts him. Such joy lives in my heart! Speaking of the boys, since I don't have any real interesting pictures to post yet of my little plants, I thought I'd post some recent videos of my boys for your enjoyment! But back to gardening. These spring days are hard when you look out the window and see snow. And it's frustrating to hear the weatherman predict cooler weather. And it's difficult to stare at empty pots day after day. But I have faith that these little seeds that I've planted will soon grow tall and bountiful and bring me such delight...if I'm patient.

Time

Time is wasting,

Time is walking

You ain’t no friend of mine

I don’t know where I’m goin’

I think I'm out of my mind,
Thinking about Time...-Hootie and the Blowfish

This song has been running over and over in my head for about a month now. Why? Because it perfectly describes my late summer. Where the heck did my time go? Where did summer go? It seems that I blinked and all of the sudden we're in Fall. We're in mid-September! WHAT?!! Manny needs yet another haircut, Adrian will be ONE at the end of this month. My baby!! I can't seem to keep up with time.

How's the garden growing? I'm glad you asked. Well, this is how I'll describe my garden. It's not very attractive at the moment, but it's functional. We had plenty of cucumbers, green beans, hot peppers, tomatoes, and now the pumpkin is thriving. It seems that right before labor day the garden got away from me and I was unable to really tend to it. The weeds came back a-plenty and I could've watered the plants a bit more, given them a bit more food, mulched a little more, pinched a little more...you get the idea. Plants that did really well: Cucumbers, Sweet Peas, Green Beans, Cherry Tomatoes, Roma Tomatoes, Cayenne Peppers, Banana Peppers, Strawberries, Rhubarb, Mint, Cuban Oregano, Thyme. Plants that did Ok: Brandywine Tomatoes, Chives, Lavendar, Raspberries and Pumpkin (doing much better now!) Plants that did not fare well: Watermelon, Sweet Bell Peppers.

Speaking of time going by, I just can't get over how busy we got with the boys this mid-summer. I love it, though! I actually had a quasi-panick attack thinking of how trapped we'll be in the winter, and how much of a hassle it is to get dressed just to go outside for 10 minutes before you freeze your tushie off. Ah well. No sense getting worked up over it now. ;-)

This time instead of posting pictures of my garden, here are a couple of pictures of a small sample of our harvest, and a cake I made with ingredients from my herb garden. I wish I could've shared these with you.

My silly 4 year old

More everday moments

Here's Adrian playing with Manny's toy. He, of course, prefers Manny's toys versus his baby toys.

Everyday Moments with the boys

I hope you enjoy these little videos as much as I do! Sometimes it's the little things that are the sweetest things about my day. Like hearing Manny spontaneously say, "Mama I love you." Or seeing Adrian light up when he looks at me with that huge smile. Or the way they giggle at each other. When I force myself to not worry about cleaning the house and just sit down with them and enjoy them in the present...life is bliss!

Beetles 1 - Jacquie 0

There is a battle occurring in my garden. And yet I feel like Ghandi in the middle of a minefield. Yes, it is our choice to grow things organically. I remember that. I could go in there and battle those dang Japanese Beetles and Squash bugs with tons of powder, sprays and chemical warfare. But...but...but...what about the children? I would hate for my kids to not be able to touch the leaves, eat the fruit, walk barefoot on the grass because I've just killed everything so that my garden will look better. The Japanese beetles are all over everything. My sweet peas, my grape leaves, my raspberry leaves, the pole beans...even my tomatoes!!! They are in the hundreds all over...EWWWWW. I tried a hot pepper remedy...I think they like it spicy. Well I can't blame them, I like it spicy too. ;-) I don't know, I know there are organic sprays, and perhaps I'll have to use that next time. Because they are winning. They've left my grapes a skeletal mess and are hungry for more.

If you have any ideas please email. Seriously...you have three days or I'm turning to the dark side and buying Real Kill. Other than that, things are growing very nicely!

Japanese Beetles eating my green bean leaves

Hope

Sometimes I take for granted this four letter word. There is such power and inspiration in the choice to hope. There is such freedom in letting go and having faith that things may turn out for the better. I was thinking about this while looking at my flower. You see, after one of my toughest winters ever, I was quite eager for spring, and as soon as it got a wee bit warmer, I bought one of my favorite flowers for the garden. The Black Eyed Susan. It is a beautiful yet humble little flower. It doesn't shout out for attention like a Rose, Dahlia or Peony. It is understated in its beauty. Perhaps that's why I like it so much.

During the spring I would bring it inside at night. One cool night I left it out a little too long and it all but died on me. I had a choice, plant it and see what happens or throw it away. Well, I decided to take a chance on my poor little flower. So I planted it, and had faith and hope that it would survive. Many, many weeks went by where it just looked awful. But I didn't have the heart to throw her away! I kept telling myself, one more week. Well, soon thereafter I saw an encouraging sign...dark green growth...just a little bit...but enough to give me hope. So I left her alone. I weeded around her, but pretty much just let nature take over. I could have added fertilizer or food but, I don't know, a part of me wanted to see how she'd do on her own.

My hope has paid off, she is strong, green and just about to burst forth with her first flowers. I can't wait! I'm so glad I had hope for her. I think we've all been in personal situations where we're either the gardener tending to our most desperate plant; or we're the desperate plant just praying that someone won't throw us away. That someone will love us and encourage us to live and grow stronger. That someone will have faith in us. That someone will hope to see us burst forth in tremendous beauty. Black Eyed Susan in May 2008

Black Eyed Susan in July 2008

What's growing in our garden

It is so much fun to watch the plants grow taller, then get the flowers, then the fruit or vegetable that results. Not unlike watching our kids grow. There is so much excitement and pride in watching them grow and learn, so much anticipation for what will come next, and then the bittersweet realization that each new accomplishment is evidence of time just flying by. How even throughout all of the many frustrations of gardening and parenting (weeding unwanted plants or unwanted habits, protecting against predatory insects or child predators, caring for a sickly plant or nursing our kids through an illness) when you see them blooming before you, with the sun shining on them as if it were a show just for you...it is simply breathtaking.

Here are some pictures of the garden. Don't laugh too hard--okay you can laugh, it's good for you. You'll see lots of weeds--some of it is on purpose (a little wild section attracts beneficial insects) some of it's just because I haven't gotten out there enough. You'll see newspapers flying about the yard, I was trying to lay it down and wet it really well before putting the straw on top for mulch but I guess they're supposed to be drenched to stay in place. (Hey we have to conserve water!) ;-) Also we ran out of the straw, so that's why it looks a bit bald in some spots. Here's what we're growing.

Vegetables and Fruits:

• Brandywine Heirloom Tomato
• Sweet Million Cherry Tomato
• Roma Tomato
  
• Cucumber
  
• Sugar Snap Peas (from seed)
• Kentucky Pole Beans (from seed)
• Banana Peppers
• Sweet Bell Peppers
• Cayenne Peppers
• Pumpkin
  
• Sugar Baby Watermelon
• Grapes
• Strawberry
• Rhubarb
  
• Kiwi Gold Raspberry

This is the view of our veggie plot. I'll get a better picture later.
I really cut back the grapes this year. Last year's canes were 8-10 feet long! I didn't expect it to grow back, but it did and there are grapes growing!

I'll be sad to lose these strawberries next year. We have to replant it since you really should replant them every 3-5 years. And the first year of strawberries you should pick off the flowers to strengthen the roots.This is our second year with them and we don't know how long the previous homeowners had them...Maybe I'll wait one more year before replanting. ;-)

Herbs

• Blue Balsam Mint
• Orange Mint
  
• Lime Thyme
• Lemon Verbena
• Munstead Lavendar
• Chives
• Cuban Oregano
• Sweet Basil
  

We took out the rocky/nasty landscaping pond and turned it into an herb garden. I love it! I really am enjoying going out there to "pinch, pinch, pinch!"

These are our strawberries picked from the garden. This was only after about 4 minutes of picking.Using the rhubarb, strawberries, orange mint and lemon verbena from our garden, Manny and I made our first strawberry/rhubarb pie! Homemade crusts too! See the little hearts? As my mom always says, "It tastes so good because it's made with love." ;-)

BUZZZZZZ

It was such a long, cold, snowy winter this past year. I couldn't wait for spring! I read gardening magazines, on-line articles, and books. I imagined the type of vegetable garden we would like and what plants we could take out or put in. And now we're right in the thick of it, and time is just flying. Spring was so exciting! We bought our plants and seeds and got our garden plot ready. The weather was finally warmer and comfortable. And there were no bugs yet...more specifically...no mosquitoes. Ah, the dreaded mosquito. We have our share of bugs in Florida, but mosquitoes are ridiculous up here. I've heard it joked as the state bird. Because we've had so much flooding, they are swarming and they are mean and tough. I heard on the news last night, that a typical mosquito trap that usually catches 5o bugs a night is catching 4,000 a night.

I'm not a big fan of putting toxic chemicals all over my kids, myself or my husband. So I bought a chemical free bug repellent called Buzz Away. I think I actually heard a mosquito laugh at me...It worked okay, but it was still unbearable. After many days of this, and many more mosquito bites, I caved in and put on the OFF repellent, with the dreaded DEET. I felt so guilty while slathering it on my sons, but at least they could play comfortably. We were out there about 5 minutes and I hear Manny say, "Ow!" and slap his neck. I go back to gardening, he starts screaming and crying! I run over and the dang skeeters had swarmed him and were biting his shoulders and neck. I could NOT believe it. I had even put that toxic stuff all over his neck! In researching an organic garden, I read that a brown bat could eat 1,000 mosquitoes in one hour. And that preying mantis are also fast enough to catch them and help control their population. And since the beneficial ladybugs are apparently not native to my region, they won't be killing off too many good bugs. (Mantis are NOT picky--they'll eat each other too!) The good news is that flood mosquitoes do not carry the West Nile Virus, but they are still obnoxious. I've missed being outside the last few days. My father always used to say that I had sweet blood, because I was ALWAYS a mosquito target...apparently so are my kids. It's hard being so sweet. ;-)

Sprouts

Well friends, I've officially entered the world of blogging. Never thought I'd do it, but I'm intrigued nonetheless. This year has been a whirlwind! We became homeowners, expanded our family from one boy to two (hurrah!) and slowly but surely are adjusting to life in a small town. I like the slow pace of it, I like the quiet, but I do miss the convenience of big city stores and activities.

So this is our second year gardening. We're focused mostly on vegetables and herbs this year although we did plant a daisy and black eyed susan. We're determined to grow things organically and quite honestly it feels really good! I'm learning so much about good bugs and bad bugs. My sons have a cool mom now...not one who automatically screams at a spider, but rather appreciates the spider for eating mosquitoes. I knew I had to change when I saw my then 2 year old screaming at the sight of any bug. I'm proud to say that now he'll gladly pick up an earthworm and design it a new home or dig up a grub and squish it (they're bad bugs). So we're planning on building a bat house this weekend and buying some Preying Mantis.

Anyhoo, I'm crazy in love with my boys...my original sprouts. Manny will be 4 years old in just 3 weeks, and Adrian just turned 9 months. Forgive the term, but they're growing like weeds. Maybe I should say growing like Peas...they grow fast and they're sweet. ;-) They keep me busy, and I do this gardening thing because it brings me peace, but also because I want them to have wonderful memories of picking fresh peas and strawberries right from our yard, having an appreciation for the work that goes into it, and the satisfaction of what great food really tastes like. It's a new adventure for us all.